Part 4- "PSYCH."

I knew what I was doing. I immediately called my Mother to check myself, check in with her, and explain the offer before me. She validated my own opinions and offered further insight, and I knew what I was going to do. I was going to Big Bend.

I only told one member of my team, Molly Pearlman. She is a tiny bundle of energy who can keep up, and has a real thirst for adventure. She hated me for my decision, but fully supported it, knowing that it would be the best thing for me to do.

So there I was. Going to team-meetings, doing everything, going along as if I was going to Eudora, but knowing that soon it would be announced and 100% official that I was going to Big Bend. That night, it happened. The unthinkable happenstance. The one thing that could possibly interrupt my plans.

The team meeting was called, every member was told it was a no-miss meeting. You had to be there. I knew what this was. It was going to be Chris telling the rest of the team that I would be missing out on Eudora, to go to Big Bend instead. I would be back on the team after this project, but would be gone for this one. He sits down and says the words, "We're losing a member, but he's going to do something else great and I hope we can all be happy for him. Evan is joining Fire Management."

Again, my body did not know how to react emotionally. As I saw all my team-mates looking to him, some on the verge of tears, some scowling, but all happy that he would be doing what he wanted to do. I stared into space, knowing full well that it would be impossible for me to now leave the team. With Evan gone, it was only TL Chris, Baby-Chris, and myself as the male part of the team.

A completely separate group of people had decided, independently from my TL, that Evan had to leave his position on my team, and join Fire Management instead.

Chris told me after the meeting that he still "didn't know" about my situation, but I knew that it would not happen after this. Molly and I shared a long and weirdly affecting conversation about my future. Neither of us knew what to feel, how to react, what to say or not say, or how to feel about this.